Not Always A Wonderland

Though I read the book and watched the movie as a young child, I never realized what a disconcerting and off-kilter world Alice inhabits in Caroll’s “Wonderland.” From her falling down the rabbit-hole to being attacked the court of cards, Alice never seems to be at one with her surroundings. Strange things happen in this unpredictable world and offer no explanation. And yet, as a child, I never found myself perplexed by any of it. Of course it was odd, but within my imagination, anything was possible. Today, I read the story and find myself analyzing every page, questioning and critiquing the underlying statements Carroll was making. Perhaps that’s the beauty of his work… while young children enthusiastically accept it for its playful imaginativeness; adults are struck by its deeper implications.

As many critics point out, Alice in Wonderland is not the purely innocent story we experience it as when we are children. There is always an element of danger lurking behind every scene or interaction Alice encounters in Wonderland. Drinking the bottle marked “Drink Me,” which might contain poison, nearly drowning in her own tears, becoming trapped in the White Rabbit’s home, meeting strange strangers, and the Queen of Hearts’ threats are all examples of times when Alice is at risk without ever really taking the threats seriously.

And yet Carroll seems to be attempting to idealize youth – to make it into something beautiful and innocent that adults all wish to return to. Perhaps it is Alice’s naiveté that grown-ups miss… being able to enjoy new experiences without recognizing the harm that they also face. Whatever it is, they find themselves reminiscing of their own Wonderlands, of their “simple sorrows” and “simple joys,” and of “happy summer days” (Carroll, 99).

As I thought about my childhood – which I truly did enjoy, and which I feel has not yet fully come to end – I realized that even as a young adult I have idealized some of my memories and experiences. Most of it was of a true, dream-like quality, but there were elements that frightened me. Confusion and change occasionally crept into my happy dreamland and threatened me. One such creeping fear manifested itself in a recurring nightmare – my only recurring nightmare as a child – which I decided to make into a comic and share, since it 

affected me so deeply as a child.

For me, like Alice… dreams are not always full of wonder.